A Certain Background Scenery
by riyangendut
Summary: He was always there, sitting in the left row, second from the back. Always staring forward, with those strong eyes of his, no matter how injured, no matter how hurt he is, he never put himself over others. Recklessly, he took action to save others, even if that means he himself left unsaved in the end. And that was what made me foolishly fall head over heels to him.
He was always there, sitting in the left row, second from the back. Always staring forward, with those strong eyes of his, no matter how injured, no matter how hurt he is, he never put himself over others. Recklessly, he took action to save others, even if that means he himself left unsaved in the end.

And that was what made me foolishly fall head over heels to him.

I know he won't think that way about me, or anyone else on that matter, he cared for everyone around him evenly, even for his enemies. That's the kind of person Kamijou Touma is. And people around him can't help but fall in love with that reckless idiot.

Probably he won't even remember my name if I hadn't moved to his class. Even though he had fought for me and lost an arm in the process, he easily brushed that like it didn't matter at all, like it's just a small favor in the level of helping me stand after bumping to each other in an intersection. And so, even after I moved to his class, I remained as a part of the background scenery as he went through more reckless actions.

But then the part of the background scenery that was me impudently thought that she was a part of the play and talked to the one who stood in the center of the world.

"Kamijou-kun," on that Thursday afterschool, the end of the world began.

"Hmm? What's it, Himegami?"

I took a deep breath. "Kamijou-kun, I love you, please go out with me!" the instant I said those words, silence enveloped the busy classroom, before swallowed by unified chorus.

"Eeeeh!?"

He hung his head low, I could see his body trembling a bit. A certain level of frustation could be seen on his eyes.

"I... I'm sorry, Himegami, I..." I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. I ran towards the door while hopelessly holding the tears that accumulated in the edge of my eyes.

I locked myself in the bathroom and spent that evening crying and fell asleep. When I finally woke up, it's already 7 P.M., way past curfew, but hell with that. When you're brokenhearted, you tend to forget about small things like that.

I got out of the bathroom and realized, if this is past curfew, most likely the gates would be locked. I hung my head and walked through the coridor with that gloomy thought before bumped to someone.

"Huh?"

"Ah, there you are, Himegami." I turned my back, but he caught my hand before I could run and pulled me to his chest.

"Why... why are you here?"

"To make sure you won't run away. Don't avert your gaze from your true feelings, Himegami. If you felt hurt then say so, if you fell in love then say so, if you hate someone then tell them how you feel. After all, if you don't take responsibility over your own feelings, then who will?"

"But, Kamijou-kun, wasn't it you who had rejected me? Then what was left for me? I have nothing! I have no useful power like that Tokiwadai girl, I have no extensive knowledge of magic like Index nor the knowledge of esper powers like Tsukuyomi-sensei, I would always be a part of the background scenery to whom you wouldn't even glance your eyes twice."

"But you know perfectly that I cannot return your feelings!"

"And why was that? Is that because I'm the part of the 'background scenery'?"

"Then let me ask you this, Himegami: who are you seeing me as? Who are you falling in love with?"

"What... do you mean?"

He pulled my shoulders and looked squarely to my eyes. "Who are you looking at?"

"Kamijou..."

"Liar. Who are you looking at?"

"Kamijou Touma..."

"Answer me honestly! _Who are you looking at_?"

"My... Savior"

"That's right. You never saw me as Kamijou Touma. The one you falling in love with was merely ' _someone who had saved you in the past_ '. If that was Tsuchimikado that saved you, you wouldn't even glanced at me. That was the truth."

"But that was you who reached your hands to me. While another person could reach their hands to me, that was you who actually do that. Thus the one I love is you. That was also the truth."

"Then see me past the boundary of ' _someone who had saved you_ '. I'm not always righteous, sometimes I do selfish things, or even hurt others at times. When you could accept me as a whole, then I could accept you." he practically tossed my shoulder to the wall before offering his hands. "If you insist on seeing me on that limit, then I'll destroy that illusion first. But that could wait. For now, I'll take you home."

We walked through the hallway in silence for a while. "Tell me, Kamijou-kun."

"Hmm? What's that?"

"Do you... hate me?"

"Why would I?"

"Because I embarassed you in front of the class... the second I confessed to you I thought, aah, from now on he would hate me so much he won't even talk to me anymore..."

"Let me ask you something then, could you hate someone you love?"

My eyes widened. "K-Kamijou-kun?" I could see his cheek blushed a bit under the pale moonlight, and I'm sure my cheek was also burning red.

"It's embarassing, so I'll never admit I ever said this. It's because I loved you so much that I wanted you to know more about me, I wanted you to see me as a whole."

My heart pounded so hard I could swear it resonated in the hallway. "You're unfair, Kamijou-kun." I playfully hit his shoulder. "Don't confess right after you reject me, idiot."

"Unfair, huh? I guess that's true." he sourly laughed. "After all, I'm the one who retains my own illusion after I crushed everyone else's." he suddenly stopped walking and looked straight into my eyes. "But at least, let me enjoy this illusion a bit longer." silence enveloped us as he kissed my forehead, I don't even know that human heart could beat that fast without turning me into a meaningless splatter on the wall.

Neither of us said anything for the rest of the way, I guess it's because there's nothing left to be said. Both of us had understood each other's feelings, and tomorrow will come, bringing the broken clock's hand on the move once again.


End file.
